Articles and blurbs on "The Book of Eli"

Camamar

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Re: Articles and blurbs on "The Book of Eli"

« Reply #225 on: February 04, 2010, 06:29:42 AM »

Quote from: TitusPullo on February 04, 2010, 01:09:19 AM

Quote from: wingit4me on January 19, 2010, 11:14:38 PM

Let us know what you plan to do with the sexed up fat suit.

I just now caught this.

BAD JOKE INCOMING!!!!!!

All was not well in the kingdom of Asgard.

Thor, God of Thunder, was in a foul mood, stomping around and banging his hammer and growling to himself. Thor's father, Odin, enquired as to the reason behind Thor's mood. Thor replied sheepishly that he had not had sex for at least six months, and was feeling frustrated and super-humanly horny.

"That's easy to fix", said Odin, "just get yourself down to Earth, find a nice girl and satisfy your needs - but be very careful! Remember that you are a god, and that humans are mere mortals who
will not be used to the incredibly energetic sex that we gods enjoy." A smile spread across Thor's face as he picked up his hammer and set off toward Earth.

On Earth Thor headed for the nearest bar in search of his dream date. He came upon an attractive young lady sitting alone at the bar and offered to buy her a drink.

"Yeth pleath", she replied, "that would be tho nithe."

Thor was curious about the way the girl spoke. "What tongue is that which you speak, young woman? I have heard it not before."

"It'th Englith, thilly" she retorted. "I jutht have a thlight lithp, thath all !"

More drink flowed, one thing led to another and Thor was invited back to the girls place, where they had sex thirty seven times. With his appetite satiated and the girl exhausted and fast asleep, Thor quietly picked up his mighty hammer and returned to Asgard.

"Well Thor", enquired Odin, "How did your little trip to Earth go ?"

"Oh father", replied the happy Thor, "It was marvellous - thirty seven times we did it!! Thirty seven times !"

Odin was horrified. "You berk Thor - I warned you that humans were not able to cope with the incredible sexual prowess of we gods - you had best get yourself back down to Earth and check that the young lady has survived the ordeal !"

Thor left sheepishly and returned to Earth where, luckily, he found the young lady in the bar where they had originally met.

"Many thanks for last night young lady - it was incredible. Oh, by the way, I'm Thor."

Shifting uncomfortably on her bar stool the girl replied, "YOU'RE Thor? I can hardly take a pith!"

I wonder if Volthtagg ith ath thekthed-up ath Thor?

Good one, Titus! And if you made it up yourself, :clap:


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A day without Ray is like a day without sunshine.....Worse, actually. A day without sunshine would save me having to put on sunscreen.

TitusPullo

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"Hello ladies!"

Re: Articles and blurbs on "The Book of Eli"

« Reply #226 on: February 07, 2010, 09:01:26 AM »

Quote from: Camamar on February 04, 2010, 06:29:42 AM

I wonder if Volthtagg ith ath thekthed-up ath Thor?

Quote from: Camamar on February 04, 2010, 06:29:42 AM

Good one, Titus! And if you made it up yourself, :clap:

Old joke, actually. But if it gets me some fawning I'll claim it.


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"I like to kill my enemy, take their gold, and enjoy their women."

TitusPullo

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Posts: 500

"Hello ladies!"

Re: Articles and blurbs on "The Book of Eli"

« Reply #227 on: February 07, 2010, 09:11:44 AM »

Quote from: Nomad on February 04, 2010, 02:24:12 AM

THAT's my Titus! Deliciously silly and slightly unwell. :neen:

Love you, Sugar. :lips:

P.S. Haven't you seen Groundhog Day, Titus? It explains the whole thing.

Love you too, possum. I vaguely recall seeing Groundhog Day, it had Bill Murray repeating the same day over and over? And I do recall caddyshack, but I thought that was a mole? Is a groundhog a mole then? Oh wait, Caddyshack had a gopher. Er... sod it, can't be arsed to Wikipedia it.